Comments on: Finally, I Have Kicked a Pigeon

By: Mike Lavoie

Mike Lavoie — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 16:14:08 +0000

Sage, my dove. I must admit, the pest control industry has made some impressive propaganda in its time and I suppose that has partly swayed me. However, as I wrote, I have always had an innate hatred for the shit bird; far before the pest control industry started sending me t-shirts and beach balls.

You’re research is impressive and appreciated but was it really “an inkling of compassion” you were seeking from me when you wished “the same debilities and neglect as your poor victim” on me? I think you are confused by this little tale and therefore scared and therefore angry. Let’s go deeper.

Keep in mind that although I wanted to kick a pigeon, I never did until I was enlisted to by someone who needed a pigeon to be kicked. Suppose all my life I wanted to murder someone, but suppressed the desire. Then I was drafted into the Army and I ended up murdering some terrorists, deserving of death according to US law and custom, but certainly not in the eyes of the terrorists’ friends and family. Is it my fault or “wrong” that I enjoyed the murdering? Is it morally worse for me to savor their deaths than the solider next to me who regrets that he must kill?

If I am the devil, which I am not ruling out, I am the devil with a conscience.

By: Sage

Sage — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 08:42:40 +0000

MBS, stupid is as stupid writes. Ignorance is bliss. Instead of being presumed stupid, you sent your message, above, and removed all doubt. You all continue supporting each others’ mental malfunctions. Obviously, it’s all you’ve got. I’m outta here.

By: MBS

MBS — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:35:25 +0000

Sage, you’re ridiculous. the whole thing is obviously exaggerated and tongue-in-cheek. Does everything have to be so serious? Secondly, you have no idea what you are talking about when you relate being mugged to the pigeon being kicked from the stairs. 5 seconds later, the pigeon forgets what just happened and ambles on it’s merry way trying to eat the same rock over and over again. A person who has been mugged doesn’t have that same luxury or a short term memory. The pigeon is a pigeon, not a human, stop anthropomorphizing, you sound stupid. Pigeons do have diseases, they are just rats with wings, not a misunderstood dove. That’s why there’s a different name for them

By: Sage

Sage — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:03:56 +0000

Oh, yeah, and about your “devil spawn” slur: The common pigeon is actually the original dove of peace, the dove Noah released, and most often mentioned bird in the bible. If anything, you kicked one of God’s favorite creations. So, come on, fess up. You are really the devil personified, spreading hatred and violence at every opportunity. Right?

By: Sage

Sage — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:49:28 +0000

Well, I hoped for an inkling of compassion but… FYI, the common pigeon is actually the Eurasian Rock Dove. The words pigeon and dove are practically interchangeable. Look it up. Also, see http://www.urbanwildlifesociety.org/UWS/GeeWhizQuiz.htm , http://www.urbanwildlifesociety.org/pigeons/ , and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AopIsWYPwtI to possibly help prevent you from exposing yet more of your ignorance. And what can be said further about the total absurdity of your claim that you had a fair “fight” with a sick, bedraggled little bird? I’m sure that the street toughs would claim you were a formidable foe should they thoroughly kick the shit out of you while you’re “fighting back” from your menacing fetal position. How do you feel about having the exact same violent mindset as they? BTW, what personal experience(s), if any, caused you to hate pigeons so much? Or are you simply a mindless drone filled with the false propaganda the pest control industry has been spewing for decades?

By: Mike Lavoie

Mike Lavoie — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:08:15 +0000

Hey Sage! Glad you disliked the post. A few counterpoints:

The pigeon was a pigeon, not a dove, as you first wrote. Doves are beautiful creations of God’s almighty breath. Pigeons are devil spawn. It is an important distinction.

You already know this mutant bird was the size of an owl. I, in fact, am not a giant in comparison; I am a very short, weak man with no discernible muscle or talent; so it was basically a fair fight.

I feel compelled to disturb pigeons not because of “some twisted psychological reasons” but because they are a blight on the earth. However, in this particular instance, I was doing a favor for a woman who was literally unable to enter her home because of her paralyzing fear of this animal. What is a good Samaritan/Simian like myself to do? Let her sleep on the street, underneath the H2? No, not I. I would even do the same for you, dear Sage. Though we have our differences, we are all monkeys on the inside, no?

By: Banjo!

Banjo! — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:28:13 +0000

You write so eloquently, I felt like I was there.

And you got a new fan, I see! Bravo!

Banjo will someday share some kickboxing moves with you. You will fear hooligans no longer!

By: Sage

Sage — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:33:08 +0000

Reread your post and wonder: You fear young toughs attacking you. They are compelled to commit violence on defenseless people for some twisted psychological reasons. You, in turn, felt compelled to commit violence on a defenseless little bird. What sad, pathetic, twisted psychological reasons do you have to commit the same type of act you decry, above? And what dysfunction also lurks in the dark minds of Rob and Helen? Next time any of you feel fearful of being mugged, maybe, although doubtfully, you might empathize with the poor pigeon who was mercilessly kicked by a giant simian, how many hundreds of times his or her size and weight?

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:44:37 +0000

Even when you are talking about the ugliest of topics, your language is beautiful.

By: Helen

Helen — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 13:59:52 +0000

shit-birds…very apt word choice